“If you want to go far in life, you should always know how to identify toxic people to let go.” This quote is one of my favourite when it comes to social relationships and dealing with people. Yeah, it is widely accepted that no human can sustain him/herself in isolation. We need people to stay alive. We need people to do business with. In fact, the whole world exists and thrives on the basis of interpersonal relationships between one another.
Even if you own all the wealth in the world; you need someone to prepare your meals; someone to drive your cars; someone to take care of your clothes; people that will work and manage your chain of companies. We need one another for each of us to stay alive. I can’t stress this enough. However, one should be wary of the kind of people you walk with.
A popular African adage says, “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are.” In practical terms, the adage mean we reflect the kind of people we have in our lives. That’s why it is very paramount for you to stay far away from toxic people. If you hang around with toxic people, your life will definitely reflect toxicity. There is a direct correlation between your relationships and your life, behaviour and habits.
So, who is a toxic person? In my own terms, a toxic person can be described as an individual that radiates negativity. They are the type of persons that often upset you, whenever you encounter them. A toxic person never see the good in others, rather they adopt a pessimistic approach in their dealings with you. I’m pretty sure you have a number of people in your life that matches the description I just made.
A toxic person can be a spouse, romantic partner, friend or a work colleague. To be frank, you need to get rid of toxic people and toxicity from your life, if you want to live a happy and fulfilling life. These set of people don’t add any positive value to whoever comes across them.
So, how do you know the toxic people to let go? In this article, I discussed fifteen traits that’s common to toxic people.
1. He/She Always Need Your Attention
Individuals with toxic nature are known to be attention mongers. They always want to be noticed. If you have anyone in your life that constantly calls you to do things with them, or someone that frequently texts you, while they don’t return the same vibe. They will never look out for you, except they need your attention. Once you notice this feature in a friend or colleague, it’s high time you let go of them.
2. He/She Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
For every relationship, be it friendship or whatever, personal boundaries are needed to maintain healthy associations with one another. On the other hand, a toxic person won’t respect the borders you set. Anyone that deliberately flounts your boundaries, is toxic. Such person should be shown the way out.
3. He/She Intimidates You To Do Things Their Way
Does he/she use force to make you succumb to their selfish desires? A toxic girlfriend/boyfriend will make audacious statements like “if you really love me, you will do if for me…” That’s what we call ’emotional blackmail.’
See, anyone that places you in such position, is one of the toxic people to let go out of your life.
4. He/She Get Jealous Easily
Jealousy is acceptable when it’s minimal and healthy. However, if you have a friend or work colleague that gets jealous at almost every good thing coming your way, he/she is a very toxic person. Get them out of your life, before they hurt you. Jealousy breeds contempt.
5. You Don’t Feel Comfortable Around Him/Her
There’s nothing much to say about this. Not comfortable around them is a red signal coming from your subconscience that you don’t need to hang out with them. You need to let him/her go, as well.
6. You Feel Emotionally Exhausted Whenever You Encounter Him/Her
A toxic person never brings any positivity to the people that comes into their path. And as such, if you are always feeling angry, upset or broken when you talk to them or hang with them, you need no soothsayer to tell you that he/she is one of the toxic people to let go from your life.
7. He/She Displays Inconsistent Attitude To You
A person that makes you happy today, and make you feel bad tomorrow. Three days later, they make you feel angry again. This kind of inconsistent is only peculiar to toxic people. Watch out for such individual. Give them a straight red card with immediate effect.
8. You Constantly Have To Defend Yourself To Him/Her
Toxic people know how to frustrate the efforts of others. They are killjoys that derive satisfaction from making people feel inferior. In a bid to solidify their own self esteem, they often question the abilities of people within their proximity. Therefore, if you always have to defend your actions and stuffs to them, just block him/her out of your way.
9. He/She Abuses Substances
Addiction to hard drugs and substances is one of the attributes common to toxic persons. To keep themselves lively, they resort to the abuse of drugs and the likes. Avoid anyone that’s addicted to drug abuse. They are very likely to be toxic.
10. He/She Gives You Fake Compliments
This should not be mixed with flattery. It’s normal for people to flatter you. But, if you found someone that derives in giving you compliments, that are obviously fake, he/she is likely to be toxic. Let them go!
There are five other things to look for to determine toxic people to let go from your circle of influence. They’re listed below as:
11. He/She tries to guilt trip you.
12. He/She regularly see themselves as victims.
13. He/She is extremely defensive of criticism or unfavorable statements.
14. There is always drama around him/her.
15. He/She makes you feel like you deserve an apology, which never come from them.
There is so much problem in this world to be weary of. You don’t need a bunch of toxic friends or associates that will make issues more stressful for you. Or toxic people that will draw you down from the progress ladder of life.
A popular slang in Nigeria says and I quote, “bad energy, stay far away..” I don’t need to tell you any further about how to identify and chase bad energy out of your radius.